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Praise
2 min read · 400 words
Praise is positive feedback delivered from one operator to another, and the system metabolizes it differently than the operator usually expects.
The reward circuitry registers praise as input — particularly praise that lands on something the operator values. The signal arrives, the system produces a small reinforcement, the operator feels the lift. Functional, in moderation. Useful as feedback that something the operator did landed for the recipient.
The complications. First: the system can become dependent on the input. The operator who has run on praise as primary motivation finds, over time, that work without praise loses its propulsion. The system was not running on the work — it was running on the reward signal that praise produced for the work. When the praise dries up, so does the work. The Approval entry’s territory. Praise-dependence is the corollary that turns external feedback into the engine, rather than the byproduct.
Second: praise can shape the operator in directions they didn’t choose. The praised behaviors get reinforced. The praised identity gets emphasized. Over time, the operator can drift toward producing what gets praised, rather than what they would otherwise be producing. The drift is usually invisible — it feels like becoming better at what one does — but the trajectory is being determined by what others reward, not by what the operator would build on their own.
From the chair: receive praise without depending on it. Notice the lift, register the feedback, and continue. Do not increase production of whatever was praised in order to receive more praise. Do not adjust direction based on what produces praise. The feedback is data about what landed for the giver. It is not necessarily data about what the operator should produce more of.
The other discipline: give praise specifically and accurately. The vague praise — good job, nice work — is mostly noise that doesn’t help the recipient calibrate. The specific praise — that section in the third paragraph did this for me, that was good — is data the recipient can use. Specific praise also costs more for the giver, which is part of why most praise is generic. The operator who delivers specific, accurate, occasional praise is offering something useful. The operator who delivers continuous generic praise is offering noise that depletes the meaning of the signal over time.
Praise lightly. Receive lightly. Build on something steadier than the input.