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Speaking
2 min read · 527 words
Speaking is the operator producing language audibly to other operators — and the act runs different operations than the operator typically tracks.
The mechanism: the operator’s internal contents get translated into language, the language gets produced into sound, the sound is received by other operators who decode it back into approximate versions of the original contents. The translation is imperfect at every step. Internal contents do not match neatly with available language. The chosen language doesn’t fully capture the intended meaning. The receiving operators decode through their own filters, producing yet another transformation. The result: the speaking operation usually produces less precise transmission than the operator believes it has produced.
The cost of overestimating transmission: the operator who said something and assumes the receiver has accurately received it is often misjudging. The receiver may have decoded the language differently. They may have filled in gaps with their own assumptions. They may have heard what they expected rather than what was said. The operator who proceeds as if the transmission were precise often discovers later that the receivers were operating on a different version of what was supposedly communicated.
The mistake operators make in the other direction: speaking less because of the imprecision. The operator who recognizes that speaking doesn’t fully transmit may conclude that speaking is futile, withholding internal contents under the assumption that they wouldn’t be received accurately anyway. The conclusion is too strong. Imperfect transmission is still transmission. The contents that were spoken, even partially received, produce different effects than the contents that weren’t spoken at all. The withholding is its own configuration with its own costs.
From the chair: speak when the operation warrants it, with attention to making the language as accurate as the situation allows. The deliberate choice of words rather than the reflexive. The brief pause to find the more accurate phrasing. The willingness to clarify when the receiver’s response indicates miscommunication. None of these eliminates the imperfection; all of them reduce it.
The other application: notice what is being spoken from. The speech that flows from current internal state — fear, anger, defensiveness — usually has different content and tone than the speech that flows from regulated state. The operator running dysregulated produces speech that the operator running regulated would not produce. The discipline: when about to speak from dysregulation, often the better operation is to wait until regulation is restored, then speak. The speech from regulation is usually more accurate to what the operator actually wants to communicate, with less collateral damage.
The other discipline: speak less than feels natural, sometimes. The cultural environment promotes continuous speech, with silence read as awkwardness or absence. The mechanical reality is that some operations benefit from less speech rather than more. The conversation that has space for the receiver’s processing. The exchange that doesn’t fill every available moment. The communication that ends when the necessary content has been communicated rather than continuing into elaboration that often dilutes the original message. The operator who can speak with appropriate restraint produces communication that lands more reliably than the operator who speaks continuously.